Your Nursing “Friends”

Monica

Her report sheet is very neat.  She cleans her patient’s rooms before she assess them.  She’s obsessed with getting married and having babies.  She’s super competitive and swears she gives the best bed bath in the unit.  She scrubs IV ports for 4 minutes with alcohol swabs.  She dates a much, much older guy that possibly has a mustache.  And she always brings the best food for carry-ins.

 

 

Rachel

She’s really pretty but kinda slutty, messy, and a little absent-minded, and always tries to borrow your stethoscope and will leave it somewhere.  She tries to manipulate you into taking care of her patient’s code brown so she can flirt with the cute residents at the nurse’s station.  She worked her way up from inexperienced CNA to nationally certified charge nurse.  And she never wears a bra with her scrubs.

Ross

He always, always has to be right.  “Actually, the latest research shows that turning off tube feeds every time you turn a patient shows a very low risk of aspiration and the patient misses out on over an hour of nutrition a day..sooo…ya know…” He’s constantly falling in love.  He loves being a nurse and talks medical jargon at every chance he gets.  And he eventually confesses his love for another nurse on the floor and knocks her up.

Chandler

He’s the funny/bitter one who marries someone way out of his league.  He always has some sarcastic joke whenever anyone screws up, needs help, or gets terrible news and has no idea what to say to them.  He makes you laugh hysterically when you’re holding up a 300 lb patient as he slowly cleans them.  He hates holidays so he always works them.  No one is sure if he’s gay or not.  And no one can remember what department he works in.

Joey
He’s handsome, charming, and sleeps with everyone.  He’s kinda dumb, but all of his patients adore him and try to hook him up with their granddaughters.  He gets away with everything because he’s so charming.  He’s surprisingly caring and sensitive.  And he never stops eating but barely gains weight.

 

Phoebe

She’s a little odd.  She has friends of less than reputable character from her past.  She’s oblivious to the jerky doctors and is bluntly honest and unapologetic with mean patients.  And she’s always prank calling doctors for consults from Dr. Regina Phalange.